Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Thinking outside the box about thinking outside Iraq.

Need a solution to the mess in Iraq? Let's see what we know so far.

Some have called for an immediate withdrawal, like Representative Duncan Hunter, (R.–Calif.), who introduced Resolution 571, “Expressing the sense of the of the House of Representatives that the deployment of United States’ forces in Iraq be terminated immediately.” This was such a goofy idea that even Hunter voted against it along with 401 other members.

Others, like Representative Jack Murtha, (D. -Pa.) have taken a more reasonable approach. He suggested a phased re-deployment to get American soldiers out of harm’s way, where they will not be an instigation to further radicalism and more acts of terrorism. He was attacked by everyone from Jean Schmidt, (R.-Ohio) far right, who had a message for him (Cowards cut and run; Marines never do!) to White House spokesman Scott McClellan, who said that Rep. Murtha "had joined the Michael Moore wing of the Democratic party."

Subscribers to the Republican talking points memoranda including W, have stated that if we were to announce a withdrawal date, the terrorists would just lay low until that date, biding their time. The President called this “a recipe for disaster,” but Big Mitch says: Hey! Terrorists laying low -- that sounds like a good thing!

My suggestion therefore is to announce a withdrawal date two years down the road. Assuming that our President is right about insurgents laying low - and who would know better than he? - we will have just bought two years of peace.

With two years of peace at hand, we simply leave. Of course, we would have to be quiet about it. And it might not hurt to have a few bases with tall walls surrounding them. It is crucial that the walls be too tall to see over, because we don’t want anyone to notice that the bases are empty.

I know it sounds crazy, but it is so crazy that it just might work.

Speaking of crazy, I call Bush, Cheney, Rice and Rumsfield “The Dream Team,” because they say such wacky stuff that they must be dreaming. They warn us that Iraq will descend into chaos if we leave. What the hell do we have there now?

Here's a question: if you were the head of the Iraqi government, would you be hustling to get your battle troops ready, knowing that until you do, it's the Americans who will draw the fire? Don’t forget that as soon as your troops are ready, they will be caught up in a civil war, in which the insurgents will be firing at your troops rather than at the Americans?

Maybe that would explain why the number of Iraqi battle-ready battalions in the Iraq military had dropped from three to one from mid-summer to September 29, 2005. Frankly, if you’re looking for people who might be lying low until our withdrawal, the people you should look at are the Iraqi military.

Hey, Congress: It might not be such a bad idea to send a message to the Iraqi’s to get ready to take care of themselves, cause we’re bugging out.

... and tell 'em Big Mitch sent ya!

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