Stop the presses: Bush tells the truth!

USA Today published a story revealing that the NSA had enlisted the cooperation of AT&T, Verizon, and Bell South to compile a database of every phone call made in the United States.

King George W, clearly worried, went into full damage control mode, with an intensity not seen since Bill Clinton took to the air, and emphatically said, “I did not have sex with that woman.”

Here’s what Bush said:

We are not trolling through the personal lives of millions of innocent Americans.

Of course, he was referring to the millions of innocent Americans who subscribe to Qwest Communications.

In the same vein, Director of Central Intelligence nominee, General Mike Hayden said that the program of spying on Americans was completely within the law. What he meant is that the President said it is legal, and that's good enough for him. It depends on what the meaning of “is” is.

“… and tell ’em Big Mitch sent ya!”